Cameras Kids 'n Chaos, Earthdarling Portraits Blog

More from my DC trip

2012-02-28T20:24:00.000-05:00

Stretching My Eyes!

2012-02-26T22:43:00.000-05:00

On a recent trip to D.C. to visit my brother, I got to have some fun and there was inspiration everywhere! Went to go see a Callahan exhibit, and then spent the next hour or so just having a blast with my camera (and my brother).

Let it Snow!

2012-02-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

Sadly, the real big flakes started coming down the second my client walked out the door to her car, but we had some fun anyway. She was such a sport, freezing out in the cold. She looks beautiful, don't you think?

A Different Side of Charlottesville!

2012-02-08T19:58:00.004-05:00

This couple requested something 'different'. They didn't want nature, and didn't want recognizable Charlottesville. I love a good challenge! They were however, up for pretty much anything I suggested, and vice versa, so we had a good time. After this shot, we went to a local cemetery, by request of the client. Turned out interesting, don't you think? It was a bit different than my usual child portraits, but reminded me of my student days!

Loads of Cuteness!

2012-02-07T20:26:00.000-05:00

I had so much fun on this shoot. Super nice family, and super cute kids! With one at six months and the other at 2 years, I was a little nervous about fitting everyone (happily) into my tiny studio. Well, it was pretty mellow! Those kids were SO well behaved and even though we got a late start, they were both in good moods and just a ton of fun to photograph. Here are some of my favorites.

Rust & Hearts

2012-01-20T14:07:00.004-05:00

Rust is normally not something any of us appreciate, nor is an old broken down car, BUT combine those two things with a glowing goddess who is at her 36th week of pregnancy, and here are the results!

Okay, and I've not been a big fan of the 'heart' thing on the belly, just because I've seen it A LOT, but they asked, and I think it turned out pretty cool.

Late nights

2012-01-10T12:47:00.000-05:00

Been spending a few late nights at the studio, sewing my own backdrops! You do what you've got to do. Note dark circles. Ha ha ha!

Two birds with one stone...bingo!!!

2012-01-06T14:52:00.002-05:00

I'm a baby photographer, why don't I take more pictures of my own kids! Yikes, I am very guilty of procrastination when it comes to that, and that just stinks. I am going to hate myself later if I don't make that a priority.

So, here's my little guy. It's been a year or so since I've posted anything, but here he is in full form. I LOVE this picture and it's going to be my new favorite! This is SO him. Cuddly, with a mop of hair, playing quietly with his train set.

I have to admit, I was trying to figure out whether or not I should sell this lens, since I don't use it much. Resulting decision, NO. Use the lens more!

Phew! Wow.

2011-10-22T21:35:00.003-04:00

For the second year in a row, I have conducted the student portraits for the Charlottesville Waldorf School. This is the only school I am willing to do this for, and let me tell you...I love it every time! I'm not sure how many kids I photographed last Thursday, but my best guess is about 130. We finished in 2 hours!

One really cool thing about photographing these particular students is that my own daughter goes to this school, and I get to literally meet everyone she's is around all day. I think that you really see people from an interesting perspective when you photograph them, it's an incredibly beautiful thing. It makes me feel good knowing what a wonderful place my little one is at. Kids will be kids, and these are not too much different from any other children, but I can't help but think there is something that makes them stand out. It's like a little inner glow. Maybe it's all that fresh air! I don't know, but what a wonderful place it is, and what stunning kids.

Here is the portrait I got to take of my own daughter. I didn't spend any more time with her than anyone else (must be fair!), but I think she's pretty darn cute!

Just Breathe (Part Duo)

2011-08-17T09:50:00.005-04:00

When the chaotic life of a working, business owner mom starts to trickle over the edge of containment and contentment, what to do? Just breathe. I hate to be crass, but really? REALLY???? I am truly being honest here; does anyone actually feel better after taking some time out to take a few breathes? Am I taking this too literally? I feel as if I got air in my lungs, yes. I did stop to chill for all of about 10 seconds, and there is something to that, but after I'm done with my 3 breathes in 3 breathes out, I'm back where I started.

I know I can hear myself giving someone else advise on this...just stop worrying. Just stop! I had an art teacher who used to say that worry was a never ending, useless cycle. You may as well just sit yourself in a chair and make a circle in the air in front of you, it has as much purpose, and can potentially trash as much time and energy. After hearing this, I worried that I was worrying too much. Great. Thanks.

I wish I was back where I photographed this guy in his canoe. It was about 5:30 a.m. in the 'Enchanted Circle' area of Taos, NM; one of my favorite places in the entire world. I couldn't believe the serenity of that morning. I was standing on a cold, frozen, icy dock, taking pictures of this lake, and here comes this guy gliding across the water! This was back in my film days, and I was actually taking pictures with my taped up Holga!

Ah...now remembering that day just did more good than any breathes I ever took!

BFF Sessions!

2011-08-01T11:17:00.002-04:00

This is a new idea for a session that my dad thought up, and I thought it was really great! Families can get together and hire me for a session, and split the cost. You get my services for 60 minutes, and 30-40 frames to choose from! OR, you can pop your BFF in to a regular session, for $25/person, for about 10 frames. Here is how cute it can be! I'll continue to test this idea out for the month of August, so get it while you can! If I get a good response, I may add it permanently.

Oh, and it doesn't have to be kids, grown ups are welcome too!

TWO: The Portal

2011-07-18T11:17:00.013-04:00

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.

Oh my. Here we go. I am not yet in the clear from the last *bout with my daughter who is almost 5, but my son who JUST celebrated his second birthday, has had an immediate shift in his ability to deal with his emotions. It is as if the birthday party was some sort of portal and he could now join his fellow rambunctious, stress inducing, little friends who have already established their rank among their terrified parents. The very day after his birthday, he made the shift. What happened to my sweet, gentle, little boy???? Oh, he's still there alright. I get the kisses and hugs (the drive by's I call them, since he'll just randomly reach out to me after seemingly not noticing I was there for a while, and give me a huge hug!), but now there is something else; something not fun, something that lurks. Even when it's nowhere in sight and you think it might be safe to go outside, it's hovering close; watching for signs of weakness, ready to pounce and make the kill.

If my theory is correct in that parenting ages you due to the stress and extreme sleep deprivation (specifically the newborn stage, and the *2-3's), then I believe I'm equivalent to that haggard look of a centurion.

The Couch Potato

2011-07-15T21:30:00.000-04:00

Photo courtesy of Christian McFarland ;-)

I have had it! I'm done! Finished! I quit!

Okay, just kidding, but I certainly feel that way at times over varying things in my life. I love my family, my husband and kids are the biggest gifts I've ever received. I LOVE my job. A friend asked me if I ever thought, or felt that I couldn't do it anymore, and wanted to quit. Nope, I replied! I truly love being a photographer, and have worked on this since I was eleven. It is a dream come true. It hasn't come easy, but I feel most alive when I'm taking pictures!!

The true message is really that I am taking a night off. I'm going to watch some t.v., and look for some junk food in the fridge (which is sadly empty, but I'm creative!). Sometimes you just have to stop the madness, and become a couch potato. So sayonara...at least for tonight.

The Sizzling Summer, Best Friend's Package!

2011-07-07T21:12:00.001-04:00

Now through August 31, 2011, you can team up with your kid's best friend's parents and split a basic session (112.50 each!) You and the other parent will receive 30-40 images of your children together, a CD containing the high resolution images, AND an 8 x 10 print (frame & mounting not included).

On The Sly

2011-07-06T18:00:00.002-04:00

I was trying to express to my husband why it is that I'm getting migraines daily, and my shoulders seem to be attached to my ears. It seemed difficult to narrow it down to one reason. I've actually not been able to really come up with simple way of explaining this to him. He works, he works hard, he cares for the kids wonderfully, and is a great father/husband, but I wasn't getting the impression he understood why I felt like a crazy person sometimes. Then it hit me. I feel like I'm running my business 'on the sly'.

"Idiom: on the sly - In a way intended to escape notice" Quote from The Free Dictionary
Hoping my kids aren't aware that I'm not actually seeking while they are hiding!

Holy cow. It's true. I have (see Telecommuting Into the Home Office) literally run my business from the gym, the coffee shop, very late nights from my house, and my personal favorite...the 'drive by' visit to my computer to answer an email from a existing or prospective client, edit images from a shoot (yes sometimes I get 1-5 shots done during a drive by!). I feel like I have a constant ticking clock following me around, when actually I have two; ones 2 and one's 4. Was I wrong to put my office in the playroom? Please contain your laughter. I thought I could easily sit and work, while they played. I think I must have been working with a blown fuse at the time I made the decision, because it's asinine. Enough said.

Well, when I told my husband I had figured it out. I was running my business on the sly, he finally got it. He did kind of chuckle, but I suppose that can be expected.

Six Years, 3 states, 2 kids later...

2011-07-03T10:44:00.000-04:00

I've begun work on a photographic piece that I have had on my mind since I was pregnant with my first child. Needless to say, I have been busy with other things, yet it has always stayed close to my heart. I wondered if I would actually ever get an opportunity to complete it. Well, here's to beginning it, which officially began 6 years, 3 states, and 2 kids after it's actual inception. The image you see above is not going to be part of the piece, but I took it for my model, Ari, who painstakingly put up with a lot during the shoot, and offered to continue doing so for the future of the project. I can't show you what I'm working on, or rather I won't until I've finished. I am still deciding what I will do with the final product, but I've very excited to be advancing on it, because it is very close to my soul.

The Pool, A Natural Sleep Enhancer.

2011-06-28T09:34:00.007-04:00

Do you want to go to the pool? Hmm. Let me think that over for a minute. Must consider:

Flotation devices (check)

2 sippy cups (check)

Swim diapers (check)

Dinner packed for all three of us (check)

Pool toys (i.e. Barbie and other dunk-able dolls...check)

Bug spray (check)

Sun block (check)

3 towels (check)

Dry clothes for ride home (check)

Pool key (I've actually forgotten that once or twice, not a good thing...check)

Bathing suits on (check)

Flip flops (check)

Make sure dogs are both inside the house, so they don't bark incessantly while we are away (check)

Carry all items, and get two kids in the car (check)

Drive to the pool (within walking distance but can you imagine me with all that stuff & two kids??)

Get out of pool and unload all that stuff, while making sure kids don't drown or run out in road (check)

Get in freezing pool while holding 2 kids simultaneously on each hip (check)

Make them laugh (check)

Play, play, play (check)

Coerce them into leaving pool to eat (check)

One last dip (check)

Tantrums because we need to leave, the sun is going down (check)

Collect all belongings strewn across the rather large area surrounding the pool (check)

Load up mommy with all objects & kids (check)

Get kids in the car (check)

Make two trips back to the pool to collect all the items (check)

Get in car & return home (check)

Get stopped half way home by a neighbor, who spotted my dog (who apparently, in stealth mode, crept out the door with us when we left and had been running around the neighborhood on a wild adventure)

Round up dog (check)

Get kids into house, ask them to get their pj's on (ha ha ha ha ha ha!)

Go out to car and carry all items into the house (check)

Yawn and rub head (check)

Bedtime routine inclusive of a nightly tantrum from the eldest (CHECK)

1st child asleep within minutes (check)

2nd child asleep before I finish my goodnight song (check)

Migraine (check)

Worth it? Yes. The migraine? This too shall pass. I will miss nights like tonight. Not the migraine, but the giggles in the pool while I jumped up and down splashing with both kids, the grin from ear to ear on my little girl because she could hold on to the 'noodle' (not me) and kick around the pool, the cuddles in the wet towels after they get out of the pool, the little bare shoulders sitting at the picnic table and eating the 'goodies' mommy brought for dinner.

Oh, and they are asleep by 8:00!!!!

Super Moms and Architecture

2011-06-27T21:45:00.009-04:00

Phew! That was a close one. The babysitter situation is getting a bit tough lately. This is the second time in a month I started a full panic because I've had a photo shoot scheduled and all my sitters have been unavailable. Not their fault at all, I love our sitters, but our favorite one was literally in Switzerland and no one else was to be found (Summer!). I made a mad dash to call for favors from my friends, and I truly have some incredible ladies in my life. Thanks to my VERY good friend, Leslie, we had it covered. She was at a wedding the night before, yet she was ready to greet my pajama clad kids at 6:45 a.m. Seriously. She was even smiling, and made them pancakes with happy faces. All I could offer her was my adoring thanks, and a lb. of Mudhouse coffee (my personal favorite!), which still left us way out of balance. She is my super hero.

The photo shoot was so much fun...this is where the 'architecture' comes in. I haven't done a shoot in the city, for what seems like forever. In fact, I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I've never done one downtown. I'm a nature kind of girl, and although I LOVE the downtown area of Charlottesville, it hasn't been my top choice. Well, I don't know what came over me. Wait, yes I do, it was boredom! Photographers can not live on grass alone! I used to shoot in cities way back when, before I was photographing kids, before I was a mom, heck before I was even married! Since starting up this business however, I really do prefer to have the children out in nature. There's something beautiful that happens there. That being said, I decided to do a maternity shoot downtown. Had a blast. Granted, I had some great models, who were very willing, and this gal was so beautiful! Quite ready to have the baby, she was up for anything. Luckily it was the coolest day yet this summer, but either way I'm sure the results would have been great. She's a trooper!

Gerber Baby!

2011-06-19T18:41:00.005-04:00

I was just talking to someone about how much I love taking pictures of kids. I used to focus on fine art and thoroughly enjoyed that, but there is something really crazy and beautiful about my choice to change my focus. Crazy in that sometimes it's ridiculously difficult; I'm out in weather that's over 100 degrees running after a toddler, and beautiful in that each face has such magic that I am in awe when I edit my frames. I know that sounds kind of corny, but it really is incredible how each of these little people just eat up the lens (sometime literally ;-).

This little sweet guy had cheeks for miles, and some of the biggest bluest eyes I've ever seen. He was seriously engaged in looking at my camera strap, which gave me an idea for future photo shoots that I'll test out and blog about later. He sat there so calmly, and focused on that strap, and I went click, click, click!

Taking Care of Business...Location! Location! Location!

2011-06-07T11:17:00.004-04:00

Ivy Creek

I've been feeling a bit tired of the usual places where I do my sessions, and really longing to discover some part of the area that is new to me. Charlottesville is only so big, and I think I'm in the know about every little park or nature trail around! While I went through the list of city parks, I was thrilled when I came accross two parks I hadn't previously, Meadowcreek Gardens, and Greenbrier Park, the later is currently affected by the stream restoration project so we didn't get to leave our car; however, what a discovery the gardens were! Filled with 73 community garden plots, it's a little oasis amidst the buzz of 250 & Emmet Street. Neither location unfortunately, provided what I am looking for shoots, but it was awfully fun bringing the kids 'off-roading' on the bumpy surface of the dirt road around the garden! Well worth the trip if only for that, and it brought smiles to their face's (along with a ride through the much needed car wash afterwards!). I think I may even look into renting a plot!

Next we drove over to Ivy Creek, which I'd been to before but have never done a shoot. Excitedly we left for what was supposed to be a little walk, without any water for mommy (of course they had water, but I usually fail to consider myself). We ended up on a beautiful, all-be-it LONG, loop through lush forest and meadow. This will be my new location! So much to see, so many variants for backdrops. And my son, who isn't even two years old, walked the entire way. Unbelievable! I asked him if he wanted to be picked up only to get the 'uh uh' response that usually doesn't make me as happy as it did here. Hurray!!

So, today was a good day. I was able to balance entertaining the kids and taking care of business once again. My next shoot is going to take place here, and I'm so excited!

Wiggling the Bug Out

2011-06-07T10:13:00.001-04:00

As I came down the stairs midweek last week to start breakfast and the usual routine getting the kids off in their directions, I was greeted by my daughter, who unbeknownst to me had woken my husband up early, because she wasn't feeling well (I'm a very heavy sleeper these days!). When I snuggled up to her on the couch, she told me, "Momma, I tried to wiggle it out but I couldn't". Not knowing of her current physical state yet, you can imagine what was going on in my mind! Wiggle what out? Oh God, where is it? What is it? "The bug mama." How simple the concept must seem to little ones. My reaction of course was mostly a melting heart, with a bit of concern & a pretty large "PHEW!"

While my life is so complicated, I forget how beautifully simple things are to my little ones. She tried to "wiggle" it out before she woke my husband up, and boy I would pay good $ to have seen that process! I was so proud of her for even trying to take initiative on it! She was disappointed she couldn't get rid of it on her own. Her upset was soon greatly eased however, by the fact that when she's sick she gets to watch more T.V. than usual ;-).

Kids. See a film of me in action at the Charlottesville Waldorf School, by Mario Erazo.

2011-05-09T20:19:00.005-04:00

Charlottesville Waldorf School Class Portraits from REVOLVER FC on Vimeo.

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT...A CONTEST!

2011-04-20T14:47:00.008-04:00

Okay, so I really hate 'The Cutest Kid' contests. All these kids are the most beautiful, including my own ;-). It doesn't sit with me well to have a contest based on that, BUT I've been wanting to offer a fun contest to my already existing clients, with a fun prize. So, here is my version: Hit Me With Your Best Shot. You can vote based on whatever reason you please, but you can vote only once. The client with the most votes will win a session equal in value to what they normally book*. For some this is a mini-holiday session, for others it's a Watch Me Grow package, or Basic session. Get your friends and families to come visit this page and vote. When the poll is finished on 8/31/11...I will announce the winner. As new clients come in, I will also add you to the contest, so get those appointments booked! The deadline for entries is 8/1/11 (The photo shoot needs to take place prior to this date).

Good luck to you all!!!

*Please note that this contest is only for clients who booked a non-discounted session and paid full price for either the basic, watch me grow, or the mini.

TO SEE WHICH NUMBERS CORRESPOND WITH WHICH CLIENTS, CLICK ON 'ENTRIES' BUTTON ABOVE, THEN CAST YOUR VOTE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.

Kookoo Bananas

2011-04-20T14:23:00.004-04:00

At this point in my career, it only happens twice a year. Once in the Fall, and once in the Spring, when things get completely kookoo bananas. This is a term I use to describe my 4-year-old's silliest moments, which in turn makes her act even more...um...enterprising (go figure?). This year Springtime is even more KKB (kookoo bananas) because along with it being a very busy season for Earthdarling Portraits, and the time when I do the school pictures for my daughter's school, Charlottesville Waldorf School, but it's also my father's 75th birthday, and the Spring Gala event at my daughter's school. This normally wouldn't be an issue, except this year I am coordinating the auction portion of the event, which has gone from being a medium size affair, to the Go Green Gala, which is expected to draw about 250 people.

Now, this event doesn't happen until 4/30/11, but of course there is an enormous amount of preparation going into it before that date. My son doesn't know any different since I do all of my work when he's napping or after he's gone to bed at night. At least thus far, my 4-year-old is bearing well. She must be maturing, a both victorious and saddening sight. While she still gets a lot of just mommy time, completely devoted to her, it's quite a bit less than normal and my gratitude goes out to her for her understanding this at 4.5 years old. The work I am doing to help with this enormous fundraiser for her school is known as working on "the party". Quite possibly the word 'party' makes it easier for her to grasp? While I'm trying to stress that I'm doing it for her and her school, I think that's a lot to expect someone of her age to understand, and I think she's awesome!

To top it all off, my husband has to work 12-13 hour/day over the next week (2 weeks prior to the big night), and I literally don't get a minute without the kids, until about 8:45 every night. The 4.5 year old is doing well with giving me a bit of time here and there, but the 21 mo. that's an entirely different subject!

Gratefully, the kid sleeps.

Well, being KKB is not the worst I figure, and although lately I've had an ongoing massive headache, I'm somehow still enjoying myself. Come May however, I'm retiring all efforts to do ANYTHING for at least a week...maybe ;-)

Springtime with bellies, and babies!

2011-04-20T13:52:00.001-04:00

This cherry tree only blooms for about a week. In that time you can drive past it, and see many people taking advantage. The day before we shot this photo I watched prom couples pose under it's alluring canopy. It was in full bloom this past weekend, and my lovely model was one of the lucky ones to have booked at the 'right' time. Two days later, I photographed 1-year-old triplets here, which I will post later in the week.

I love Springtime, thank you Mother Nature!

2011-04-18T09:23:00.002-04:00

Babies Are Worth the Time

2011-04-06T20:31:00.000-04:00

This little guy was so sweet. So tiny, and so beautiful. Even though I probably see more newborns than the average person, I am always awed by how itty-bitty they are, and how extraordinary! This little pun-kin' worked his mommy and daddy, and the photographer (me ;-) for a few hours, before finally giving up and falling asleep. I always tell the parents not to worry, the newborn shoots are rarely short, and I'm prepared to wait it out to get 'that shot'.

Even though we LOVE the pictures with the eyes wide open, at this age they are simply irresistible when they are sleeping, and a LOT more willing and pliable! Poor wee one put up with a lot of rearranging, while he wiggled, and was really very good. You can see the progression of photos, awake to asleep. Worth every frame, I went home a bit on the hungry side (apparently my stomach was growling in that quite room!), and totally happy. Don't you just want to cover him in kisses??

One of the first shots, he wasn't too sure about this. Can you blame him?:

I wouldn't say he was thrilled about it, he was just kind of hanging out:

A bit more comfortable:

And then, with only one more trick left in my pocket, and the very attentive hard work of the mommy & daddy, things began to turn. Worn out from all that squiggling and wiggling, nursing, and rocking, he relaxed completely...

went to sleep...

and dreamed little baby dreams.

2011-03-29T09:14:00.000-04:00

Find more information on Earthdarling Portraits at Thumbtack.com

Beautiful Bellies

2011-03-09T16:43:00.000-05:00

I had such a wonderful shoot the other day. I knew it would be when my client was truly excited about trying a bunch of different stuff, and we seemed to mesh well over email regarding our ideas about the session. I love meeting first time moms especially. They are almost as cute as the babies they bring into this world! I bet I was like this too. It's refreshing to see the excitement in their faces of what is to come. It reminds me of how very special the whole experience is. NOT THAT I WANT TO HAVE ANY MORE ;-)!!! But it's really fun to see it happen in someone else. The days I gave birth to both my kids are truly the most exceptional days in my life. It is magical. Plain and simple.

I think it comes through in the photos, too.

Where Oh Where Did My Little Life Go?

2011-03-09T16:35:00.000-05:00

No really, where did it go? The phrase, "I used to be..." is heavy on my mind lately. There are several reasons why. One is that my kids have been sick for 3 weeks straight. I had JUST told friends that the winter blahs had not hit us hard, because we'd hardly been sick. Oops. Good going Ker, just rev that Murphy's Law thing right into action. The universe decided to kick me in the butt, well mostly the tiny butts of my little ones, but then it finally hit me with my not so small rear end. Ah, which reminds me of my second reason for the I used to be's. Ha ha ha. You see I'm laughing. Ha ha. No, here's the thing. I've been noticing that I truly no longer fit into my old clothes. I'm not huge, I'm just right I think, but it certainly is a bummer when that extra special vintage thing I used to wear does NOT fit anymore. It's not like I can replace it. It does make the subject stand out in my head (I USED TO BE!). The older I get, the happier I am with whatever I look like, it's true. This is a great thing. Oh, which reminds me of the third thing. I'm turning 40. I'm refusing to let it get me down. I have been feeling the pain of it a bit, but I'm a rebel. I've even started growing my gray out (I've been coloring my gray since I was 21) just to look the big 4-0 in the face. But, it's seemingly one step ahead of me, constantly looming. It's a war. I'll check back in a few months to let you know who is winning, but I'm on it!

Fake It 'Till You Make It!

2011-01-17T17:21:00.000-05:00

Wow. I'm bored. I've never been fond of winter, but this one is getting to me early. "Well, fake it 'till you make it," a good friend of mine used to say. Here's to faking it, or just revving things up to ease the winter blues.

I'll soon be announcing some fun promotions, and even a contest that you can win! You'll only hear about it all on my Facebook page, so if you're not already a friend of Earthdarling Portraits on Facebook, now would be the time to do take care of that.

Keep connected!

Ahhh...to always have babies around!

2011-01-10T16:39:00.000-05:00

Well, not my own. Mine will grow and eventually I'll have to bid farewell to those little chubby thighs, and smooshy cheeks. BUT, if I can continue to be blessed with my work, then I can get my little baby 'fix' without having 18 children of my own ;-). I'm thinking my husband will like that!

Here is a little peek from my last newborn shoot. I don't have time to post all my shoots, but I'll try to be better at that!

Baby tresses

2011-01-08T21:06:00.000-05:00

Oh, what a day. 12 + inches of baby hair, gone. It was inevitable, and I have always said that we'd cut her hair when she wanted to, but mommy wasn't ready! 4.5 year old however, had plans. Big ones, and a date in her bathroom with her kid-safe scissors. The above photo is the after effect of mommy fixing what was left of her hair. Damn, she's strong willed! I think once I cut my doll's hair, but I don't think I ever dreamed of cutting my own at this age. Well, as you can see she's happy as can be...and I've got that hair packaged up to go to Locks of Love (less a little curl for my own keeping), where I'm sure it will be appreciated. I will get over it. I will get over it. I will get over it. Just breathe (see post "Just Breathe").

Heartbeats

2010-12-07T10:34:00.000-05:00

I write in jest and sarcasm most of the time, trying to bring humor to the active, chaotic life that I am currently living, but in reality I am in love with my life, my kids, and my husband. Oh, I kind of like my dogs, too ;-).

These little creatures (husband not included in this term of endearment, although I feel the same about him) are my every day, my existance, my reason, my soul, my heartbeats. I looked at my daughter this morning and I just wanted to keep her close, and always within bear hug range. She woke us up again last night, huge tantrum at midnight, and gratefully somehow didn't wake her brother, but I loved her none-the-less in the morning. Somehow, I think I loved her more.

I didn't get to see my little guy before I left the house, but I cherish every little cuddle he gives upon my return. Last night, he too gave me such delight as I put him in his pjs. His chubby little thighs, and contagious giggles, are that of only an angel.

I will love you two always!

~Mom

The Gas Pump: A Mini Moment of Bliss

2010-12-07T10:21:00.000-05:00

There I sit at the gas pump; two kids in the car. I leave the drivers seat, and shut the car door. Blissful silence. What did you say? Blissful silence, that's right. I'm appreciative of these 'mini moments'. I stand there freezing, but none-the-less enjoying every bit of it. I'm dazed, and relaxed as the pricey stuff dispenses into my vehicle. I look up at the clouds in the sky, reveling in their slow dance across the giant, blue backdrop. I take a deep breath in and I smile. A mini vacation. I'm pumping gas and refueling myself. Multi-tasking mama!!

Silence broken by heavy knocking on car window from the inside. A girl sits mouthing the words, "HI MOMMY," and something else that she's unaware I can't actually hear. The pump comes to a halt. I select 'No Car Wash' and re-enter my vehicle. All good things must come to an end.

My latest project...a book!

2010-11-23T08:37:00.000-05:00

FAIRIES, 2010 by Kerry McFarland | Make Your Own Book

Pillow pet, confusion, and a very sharp needle

2010-11-19T19:33:00.000-05:00

I've had unbelievable amounts of relative relaxation (we visited 24 different people at different times!) over the past two weeks and I feel ready to take it all on again. Next October, and hopefully Springtime too, I'll be ready mentally. I have to prepare for these things! I wasn't expecting to be so busy with my photography, but now I've raised the bar in my head so I'm not wanting to settle for anything less. Since I'm also sleeping better, my entire day is smoother, and calmer. It's remarkable what patience I have! Today as I was cooking dinner, and simultaneously attempting to hand sew a whole in my son's pillow pet, my daughter announced she needed me immediately. Being familiar with the daily repetition of this statement, I used my mommy radar to assess the sound of her voice vs. the urgency of the issue. I stalled, cooked, poked holes in my fingers (at least I didn't burn dinner!), and then went to check on her. Feeling a bit on edge, most likely from the prickly object I was at war with, I asked her what she needed. "I don't need you mommy." "What? You've been calling for me?" "I don't need you." ARGH! I walked quietly back to the kitchen trying not to let on that I was in a huff, only to hear in an agitated 4-year-old voice from the other room, "Mommy, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz!!! I need you." Man or man, I'm confused! I try to decipher the literal meaning from the 4-year-old meaning on a daily basis, and I do a good job of it about 70% of the time, but the other part of the day is a wash.

Dinner was good (to dad & mom at least), and the pillow pet is happily air drying after his day at the spa. Both kids are asleep, after many hugs & I love yous, and the day is done. Now time for business.

October is done!

2010-11-01T12:24:00.000-04:00

Hallelujah!!! It was a crazy, jam packed month, with everything from the regular individual shoots, to photographing over 300 children at two different schools, to creating a coffee table book (for my daughter and her friends) Fairies, 2010, and the usual family affairs. We have never used our baby sitter's services this much, and although my kids did accompany me on one shoot at a preschool, most of the work related events required they stay home. I missed my kids. I'm extremely grateful for the work, but I missed them. I don't think I've had the chance to do that before! Better yet, they missed me. The huge greetings at the door that were previously reserved for Daddy's arrival, I now get. I've been allowed into the club! Now, I'm not going to make a habit out of getting them to miss me (although it's tempting since the reward is so sweet!), so I will relish in it as long as I can before I become part of the mundane again.

170 Kids

2010-10-18T08:58:00.001-04:00

I decided to offer a fund raising event to my daughter's school Charlottesville Waldorf School. I would take school photos of each child (about 170 preschool - 7th grade), and 60% of the proceeds will be returned to the school. As the date of the photo shoots crept closer I really began to feel a bit of anxiety about doing this. I'm not a school picture kind of photographer. Not that I can't do that, but my bar is higher than the average school photographer (who sort of has to mass produce everything and doesn't have the time to spend on each individual). I don't mean to toot my horn, but I haven't really seen any great school portraits, and I wasn't quite sure how to give the quality I strive for to 170 kids/families over a two day period (4 hours each day!)? Well, I decided to have faith that I would get the job done.

The day approached and really came and went without any calamities. It was remarkable! I got to meet each child, ages ranging from 3-12. When someone is in front of the camera I believe their character is clear. I had a blast! It was not as difficult as I initially thought it would be; rather organized actually (due to the wonderful school helpers I'm sure, and the patients of the teachers AND children), and a lot of fun to see these little lights shine through!

Hopefully it will raise $ for the school, which runs greatly on donations & fund raisers, and I'd actually consider doing it again next year!

The Toilet Paper is Being Chased by a Flower!

2010-09-30T20:45:00.000-04:00

Here I sit breathing evenly, typing from a keyboard I can easily locate without more than two pieces of paper awaiting my attention. Yippee!

I send out a huge amount of thanks to my Mom today who took care of my kids for a solid 7 hours stretch so I could go without a babysitter, and actually get some things done. I have nothing against babysitters, but in the upcoming month I know I will be using various sitters for a minimum of 8 days (non-consecutive). I'm thrilled with the onslaught of work that is coming my way...ecstatic actually...but I'm fearing my son's reaction to all those sitters. Today went well! Not a tear did I hear from down in the basement (my studio/office/playroom). My daughter was gleefully telling one scrabbled, discombobulated joke after another, to my ever patient mom. "Gamma. What chases after toilet paper?" "Ah, I don't know, what?" "A flower!" Next, a deluge of giggles and a confused, yet appreciative grandma.

I'm so happy I had this time to really wrap some important things up before the laborious, yet exciting month of October, but I'm looking forward to a day off with both my kids tomorrow. Taking it slow; covering their bellies in kisses; hearing my daughter tell me nonsensical jokes! I'll try to update tomorrow night with the latest knock knock joke. No promise of humor, but possibly something that will continue our gracious testimony: The 4-year-old is perpetual silly goose!

Telecommuting Into the Home Office

2010-09-30T14:46:00.000-04:00

What would you call this? I am actually ‘telecommuting’ so I can fit in extra time ‘at the office’ AWAY from my home. Aren’t I doing this backwards? Don’t people normally telecommute so they can spend more time getting work in from home?

There have been too many late nights for my liking, working after the kids are in bed (yawn). So here I am, trying to get more work in here, and there. The coffee shop, the gym (this is one of my best discoveries!!), the library. Anywhere there is Internet, that is where I am getting things done. Accomplished. Although my hard work has been paying off, I have to say I am looking forward to a well earned vacation coming up! I will get to spend 2 weeks with my entire family, in blissful unity, rest, and fun.

So, although life is a bit crazy right now, I’ve been thinking of how fortunate I am. Wondering if I could fit something else, so I could give a little back. I went to train as a volunteer at S.H.E., Shelter for Help in Emergency, and I eagerly sat there getting all the information I could and looking forward to helping. I took home the training materials, which a friend of mine spotted on my kitchen counter and said, “That’s not what I think it is?”, I believe because she thought I was insane for trying to add one more responsibility. Well, it’s as if the universe was really trying to tell me something because sadly enough, although we tried and tried, they couldn’t get me trained. They had time and patience ;-), but there wasn’t an actual day that I could go in for training. So, sheepishly I handed back in the manual and tried to accept that I’m doing enough, and reminded myself that raising my children well is one of the most efficient ways I can ‘give back’.

Just Breath

2010-09-30T14:05:00.000-04:00

This picture depicts my current life. One of blurriness, chaos, and a whole lot of love. These three people are such blessings to me, but two of them, daily are an extreme challenge. Does anyone else have this much trouble with their ‘under fives’? I know I’ll look back on these fleeting moments and want to return, but for now I have to admit it’s challenging for me to just breathe. I’ve discovered I’m extremely sound sensitive. Yikes. Not a good combo, but everyone’s got their flaws right? With my first child I didn’t go back to work until she was about 13 mos. old. Good God, kudos go out to all you working moms. It adds a whole new dynamic to child rearing. How do you split your brain? Well, in actuality I don’t; not well at least. The kids always win, which is how I believe it should be. That being said…

I’ve been swallowed whole by my kids, and my business respectively. Today I was astonished that my daughter remained as cute as ever during basically an entire day of crabby mom. Bless her heart. She did creep in our bedroom 4 times last night, which didn’t help my mood the following day. Additionally, I received 4 anonymous calls to my cell phone (which obviously I forgot to turn off!) from 4-4:30 a.m.. That’s one of the problems with listing your phone number for your business. Of course you want people to call. That’s the point, right? But, someone from Ohio at 4 a.m….no.

So life goes on through good days and bad. This one was not so good, but tomorrow will be different. Hell, today inspired me to stay up super late to write this blog!

Until then!

It's a Balance...

2010-09-16T21:57:00.000-04:00

It's a balance. Talking to my especially wonderful husband last night I mentioned that I felt I was doing a lot of things, but only partially. Fortunately, I do feel that there is one thing I'm doing fully...parenting. Sometimes I loose track and spend less time with them, and more doing chores or business stuff, but I always return to a place of, not balance, but better priorities. Now I've been at that place for a while, where my family members are the only ones who have me fully. It's been a pretty long stretch of that. I'd like to say it's working splendidly, but I look around and see that things really feel like they are falling apart. Today I finally vacuumed up compost that had dribbled in the foyer 3 days ago. There is a vent cover missing in the basement, I believe it to be an eternal problem. We have no toilet paper holder in the powder room. I haven't written on this blog for weeks!!! The list goes on. Endlessly. HOWEVER, the kids are happy. Me? I'm doing pretty well. Other than persistent headaches, and occasional feeling of anxiety, I'm great. Hee! hee! hee!. I still have my sense of humor, the most important tool! So here I sit, working late again, but getting things accomplished. This is important to me, and so is my family. It's a difficult balance, isn't it?

A False Sense of Security

2010-09-02T23:00:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's her, my mischievous one. Do you think it's easy to get her to bed? Well, in fact she's quite good (most of the time), but as I type and work on Earthdarling Portraits, I hear footsteps upstairs. I purposely left the squeaky baby gate closed at the top of the stairs, not because she can't open it (she's been able to defy all baby gate structures since she turned 3), but because it squeaks. That's right. A simple sound warning so she's not able to sneak downstairs. It works. I think.

Hmm...I just heard a thud. Spoke too soon. Blah! I guess relaxing with a book after work is out of the question, too?

Coffee, Kids, and an interview

2010-09-02T22:49:00.000-04:00

Earthdarling Portraits is growing. I'm excited about the prospects and have taken on putting an ad out for an assistant to replace my husband when he's not able to attend the photo shoots. This will loosen up my schedule tremendously (long sigh). Interviewing is not new to me, but being the interviewer is. There was such a plethora of wonderful applicants, and it was great to be able to meet with them, although I felt bad I couldn't get to all 26 of them (which I narrowed down to about 15). Wow. C'ville Coffee workers are now waving to me as I pass through their doors, and I've had one too many 'Lotza Motza' Sandwiches (if you haven't had one yet, you should try them...yum!).

Today was an interesting experiment. I couldn't get a sitter, and so what did this entrepreneur mommy do? I took the kids. Now, this would have never flied if I were the one being interviewed, but luckily the tables were turned and all thought it was distracting to say the least, it ultimately worked out fine.

Thanks C'ville Coffee, and thanks to all the great people who took time to come meet me (and for the couple who also met my kids!).

Sleep?

2010-09-02T22:46:00.001-04:00

I wonder if any working mom actually gets this on a fairly regular basis? Of course with little ones there is always going to be interruptions, but often I get a lot of my administrative, marketing, editing work (and this blog!) after my two are fast asleep. After several attempts at prolonging her awake time, my 3.5 year old is usually asleep by about 9:30 (we start the process at 8!). Oh, but it's not over...at about 3 a.m. she climbs into our bed and in her slumber plays kick ball with my back (she loves to sleep like most toddlers - laterally.) When I wake in the morning, with squinting bloodshot eyes, one of the first things I see is the little face snoring on the pillow between her dad and I. Her cheeks rosy, pacifier dangling dangerously away from her lips, and an expression of peace that is priceless. Then, at that moment when she wakes I curl my arms around her and she giggles gleefully. It's better than 100 cups of coffee!

This love gets me out of bed, and out of the house to work. I'm thankful for it, and every morning I remind myself that these days are tough, but fleeting and I shall miss them terribly.

Once out of the house and life hits me I truly feel that I am going to fall asleep while walking.

Email, a 1-year-old, and a Jar of Vaseline

2010-08-30T21:19:00.000-04:00

Emailing used to be easy. Remember those days? I used to think (prior to having my own kids of course!) that parenting would be all fun, cuddles, and games, and I never imagined that getting out an email would become a daily challenge. Now as a mother of two I am constantly being humbled. Today I turned my back for about 30 seconds, and when my eyes came into contact with that of my one-year-old I gasped as I watched him digging out a cup size portion of Vaseline. How he got it open I do not know, but he did it in less than 30 seconds. Good lord, he can't even hold his bottle yet.

Here a funny little thing my friend, Whitney Morrill, The Coconut Girl wrote about it:
""...The artist., (American, b.2009), chooses for his medium not oil paint per se, but a three-dimensional variation on the theme: petroleum jelly...No stretched frame of fabric can contain his exuberance, so he expands his "canvas" to an entire room clad in cold ceramic tile....""
As much as I wanted to yell words that a mom SHOULD NOT SAY in the presence of children, I found myself laughing. This is what memories are made of. Not Vaseline covered walls, shirt, hair, TOILET, and the feeling of being overwhelmed with the stresses of the 'modern day working mom', but the realization that in that very same moment you are overcome with the absolute unconditional love that makes it all worth it. These are the things that when I'm in the right mood, make me stop everything and just sit and play. I wish I was in that mood more often, because it's a place of bliss and peace. Tomorrow is another day.